Christmas and the hideous aftermath

The life of a Christmas tree endures a brutal conclusion as it is thrown away in disgust, kinda like how I am made to feel after sex. My favourite tree is the one accompanied by an actual tombstone.

And from Jerry Seinfeld: ‘The Christmas tree certainly seems to inspire a love/hate relationship. All that time is spent selecting it and decorating it, and then a week after it’s just thrown somewhere, you see it by the side of the road, it looks like a mob hit. A car slows down, a door opens and this tree just rolls out. People snap out of that Christmas spirit like it was a drunken stupor, they just wake up one morning and go, “Oh my god, there’s a tree inside the house! Just throw it anywhere!’.

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Question

Is the royal wedding to the public kinda like what a cartoon is to a toddler? Something to distract them and keep them occupied. You can just sit them down, turn it on and they won’t say boo till it’s over. It allows the mother, or in the British public’s case, the government, to get some quiet time to do what they want. ‘Stop your fucking moaning. Here, have a public holiday’.

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Komplete Fucking Crap

Walking past my local KFC I noticed a poster in-store saying ‘REAL FOOD, REAL MEALS’. Um, is this an ironic poster? Is KFC having an identity crisis? Real food? I don’t think so. KFC, don’t forget who you are please… a fat oily cretin who has no place in society other than for a 3am drunken booty call, the end of which will see you thrown onto the floor in disgust. The only thing worse than eating KFC would be to eat actual pieces of shit. Even then it’s a close call. See KFC, look what you did to my blog… you made it dirty. Thanks a lot.

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Don’t debate with a fuckwit

Unfortunately I am someone who is prone to self-harm, that is, I like to read toilet papers like the Herald Sun, just to get their take on an issue. Sometimes it all goes ok, other times the self-harm is quite damaging. Each time I get hurt, it takes me longer to recover.

After many vile, idiotic, fuckwit comments from readers, The Herald Sun asked them to vote:

Open the door? As with most issues reported in the Herald Sun, the issue of asylum seekers is a very, very simple one. There’s no complexity to it. It’s not deep. It’s black or it’s white. There is no middleground. A simple yes or no answer to a very broad question is all that’s needed. Don’t think. You are either for open door policy, or you are not, which one is it?!

Debate:
Q: Are you in favour of Australia opening the door to asylum seekers?

A: I don’t think that masses of asylum seekers from all over the world should swarm to Australia, but there are not masses of asylum seekers swa…

Ah, no, no, no. No buts. You don’t think there should be an open door policy?!!

No, but open door implies letting everyone in, asylum seekers make up less than 2%…

Ah, no! No buts, no facts! You are against it! You already said so yourself. You are against an open door policy! You are against our country losing its identity to illegal immigrants who want to leach off hardworking taxpayers. You are against thieves. You are against immigrants. You are pro law.

I barely said anything, what I think is….

Ah, you did it again. Don’t back track, you are for or against? YOU ARE AGAINST! YOU SAID SO YOURSELF. YOU ARE AGAINST IMMIGRANTS! YOU ARE AGAINST UNAUSTRALIANISM! YOU ARE AGAINST ANARCHY! YOU ARE PRO THE AUSSIE WAY! YOU ARE AGAINST THIS INJUSTICE TO OUR COUNTRY! IT’S BLOODY UNFAIR! YOU VOTED FOR IT, ARE YOU UNPATRIOTIC?! YOU ARE AGAINST! YOU ARE AGAINST! TRAITOOOOOR!!

Fuck you, you’re a dick.

Ah, aggression! You are a rioter! You are a left wing loonie! You’re a bleeding heart! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! SHA…BANG!

Left wing loonie puts bullet to head, but which head?

Posted in Politics Post Comment

Found on the web this week


Especially the evil wobbly faced goblin in the middle, Mr Murdoch. Why hasn’t anyone killed him yet?


The coalition unveil their plans for Great Britain


I usually get stuck on the 7th.

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Overheard

Overheard around and about:

“I find it hard to go to the loo as quite often I’m on an erection”

“I am done being corporately raped”.

“It’s like a dark cloud just drifted over me” (what it’s like when I enter a room).

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