You Shouldn’t Have

Found this incomplete equation the other day:

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Because it is shit. Have we sunk so low that the simple act of doing something, anything, now passes as an achievement?
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You’re just uneducated and lowbrow, also lacking creative insight.
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None of the above.
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You fail to grasp what it’s all about. It’s deeper than you think.
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Stick it in a gallery and it’s art?
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No, get a notable artist, stick it in a gallery, apply Modern/Postmodern rhetoric, provoke discussion, then it’s art.
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Stick this in your gallery then. (Does a shit)
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That is silly. And you’re not a notable artist.
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Yes but I’m the only one that did this particular shit. And it has meaning. You’re just not seeing the meaning. And the process. I had curry today. It’s ironic. It questions the relevance of public toilets in a growing digital age. We are drowning in consumerist shit, this is symbolic. Circular logic man. Don’t be cynical.
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It is shit though.
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I already said it was shit, I seek to redefine perceptions of shit. It’s in a gallery now. Is is still shit?
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That old chestnut.
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Shit is shit.
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You’re shit.
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Stuff & Shit.
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Third party enters.
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How much are you asking for this piece of shit?
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That depends on the values around which it is viewed. Our culture, our ideologies, our history. How do you define meaning? We need to wipe all this shit clean and look at this shit for what is is.
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It’s shit.
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Shit.
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What?
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Who said what?
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I think I did.
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Are you still there?
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I’m here, are you there?
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Who are we?
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I’m the cynical one.
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I thought I was.
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What the fuck is happening?
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Postmodernism.
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Or something.
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What?
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Shit. April 8 – May 10. Gallery.
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Shit Reviews:
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‘This shit is real’ Artist
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‘Holy shit’ Someone
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‘Fuck all this shit’ Someone Else
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‘Shit puns are shit’ Stuff & Shit
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‘Shit design is cool now’. Graphic designer
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Circles instead of stars for a rating OOOOO
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I’m creative, man. You just don’t get it.
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Oh I get it. Do you?
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Who are you?
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I’m you.
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Who, me?
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What.
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Hello, is this thing on?
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This has turned shit.
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That’s the point.
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There’s a point?
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How will this end?
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With a rhetorical question?
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Yes
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.
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See what I did there, rhetorical questions don’t require answers, and I answered it. So the last 2 points are a contradiction and continually loop in Postmodern concepts. This shit is deeper than I thought, I finally understand it, it’s like a religion man. I’m awake. I’m finally awake. It’s glorious.

Editors Note:
Stuff & Shit isn’t anti modern art, or postmodernism, almost the opposite, but some of the time it results in self-indulgent, pretentious shit, and as such, deserves ridicule. Thanks everyone xxx

Posted in Analysis Post Comment

Brush with fame in local pub

I was in a pub the other day where several guests were attracting the attention of the crowd and causing a bit of a stir. Everyone was quietly nudging each other ‘Look, he’s walking to the bar.’ One couple waited to get a good view before hastily snapping a few shots. Another offered them a drink. One girl even went over, interrupted, and made physical contact. The stars didn’t seem to mind and were lapping it all up. But the climax came when one of the stars, well aware of the commotion he was causing, stood up in front of everyone and casually started to urinate. Everyone laughed before one guy ran over saying ‘No no no, get out!’ The star barked twice and ran away. His mates went over to try and smell the pee before also being sent outside. So, you ask… urinating in public but still somehow revered? No, not a footballer, but another type of animal, a dog, much less filthy and much more respectable than your average footballer.

Dogs are revered and lavished upon to such an extent they are akin to the glitterati. Often they are the centre of attention, walking around chatting to fans, accepting head massages, gifts, and eternal praise for being good, not to mention having their litter collected by those superior to them. These are the type of stars I revere. They are honourable, they are real. Long may they live on. To the dogs!

Posted in Anecdote Post Comment

FOUND

Posted in Found Post Comment