Brush with fame in local pub

I was in a pub the other day where several guests were attracting the attention of the crowd and causing a bit of a stir. Everyone was quietly nudging each other ‘Look, he’s walking to the bar.’ One couple waited to get a good view before hastily snapping a few shots. Another offered them a drink. One girl even went over, interrupted, and made physical contact. The stars didn’t seem to mind and were lapping it all up. But the climax came when one of the stars, well aware of the commotion he was causing, stood up in front of everyone and casually started to urinate. Everyone laughed before one guy ran over saying ‘No no no, get out!’ The star barked twice and ran away. His mates went over to try and smell the pee before also being sent outside. So, you ask… urinating in public but still somehow revered? No, not a footballer, but another type of animal, a dog, much less filthy and much more respectable than your average footballer.

Dogs are revered and lavished upon to such an extent they are akin to the glitterati. Often they are the centre of attention, walking around chatting to fans, accepting head massages, gifts, and eternal praise for being good, not to mention having their litter collected by those superior to them. These are the type of stars I revere. They are honourable, they are real. Long may they live on. To the dogs!

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