Do’s & Don’ts

While searching for info on renewing my passport, I found the following ‘Do’s & Don’ts’ regarding passport pics. I found the tips quite vague and have since elaborated to give readers a clearer understanding of who can and cannot sit for a passport photograph.

Please read their suggestions, followed by my elaborations:

Man is dead. Men or woman who have died are discouraged from taking their corpse to a photo booth and attempting to obtain a passport. Dead people should rest in peace and remain in their coffins at all times.

The man’s head is affixed directly to body without aid of neck. All applicants are encouraged to have necks. If seeking a passport, please ensure a neck divides your head and shoulders.

Man is a friendly axe murderer. Axe murderers are advised to avoid sitting for passport photos.

Unsafe to wear fencing mask without cover.

Not even a real person. Man is a fictional cartoon character. Only real people will be granted passports. Friendly fictional characters from cartoons or comic books will be refused a passport at all times.

Baby is Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Applicants must not be Gollum! Gollum is banned from obtaining a passport.

Girl has the look of a future rapist/killer. Children who lust for a future of sex and death are banned from acquiring a passport. Any future rapists will be reported to authorities.

Girl is a doll. As stated earlier, all applicants must be human beings.

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