Guys at the Gym are wankers

In my Top 25, Act 2, number 11, I asked the following question:

“What is with the guy’s in gym change rooms who have no intention of putting their clothes back on… waltz around, put the leg up, have a shave, crouch down, have a chat… ah, put your effing gear back on, then crouch. Strict limit on the number of bollocks I wish to see in a day”.

That was a good one. Out of the locker room and into the weights area, there is one guy who kills me. He barely works out and spends most of his time checking himself out in the mirror. I’m not talking the occasional glance, I’m talking a proper stare, legs apart, head tilted, eyeing himself off… for minutes at a time. He then approaches the mirror, gets face to face with himself, has a staring contest and turns away.

Meanwhile, much like cleavage, I’m trying to ignore it, but ultimately can’t. But unlike cleavage, I’m thinking ‘you arsehole, you absolute arsehole. What sort of wanker does this. Seriously! WHO?!’

Multiple choice time: what sort of wanker does this?

a) a wanker
b) a wanker
c) a nutter who thinks the mirrored wall is actually another room and wonders why there is some surly, stocky shit continually eying him off. He sees the arsehole looking, so he turns back, approaches him and gets face to face thinking, what the f*** you looking at, bitch! He doesn’t flinch so he turns away. He walks to his weights, looks back and sees he’s still greasing him off. He thinks ‘what is this f***face’s problem’, approaches the mirror for another stand off. Again, no-one flinches so he walks back to his weights, glances back and he’s STILL looking etc etc etc. This continues until the gym closes and staff come out to say ‘cmon guys, let’s take it outside’. Looking at the mirror he says ‘But this f***wit keeps staring at me!’ Who you calling f***wit arsehole. Arsehole?! who the f*** do you think you are. F*** you. no, f*** YOU! NO, F*** YOU!!!” This continues until 5 personal trainers carry him out in a blind fold and muzzle, yelling and screaming at himself.

The answer? Yep, all of the above (plus arsehole and self obsessed troll).

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