Lecture: The bogan and the hipster, binary opposites or unbeknown comrades?

Before I begin, I’d like to say that the extended absence between posts was due to the blog returning to the motherland in the name of a family wedding, at which I was asked to give a speech, which was a most unpleasant experience. If everyone could please refrain from asking me to do any speeches again in the foreseeable future. I have since delayed my return to work to create this post, which continues the previous discussion about caricatures in society. Today we’re going to look at the bogan and the hipster in more detail, as I attempt to explain that once the surface of both caricatures has been scratched, these 2 caricatures are actually 2 heads from the same beast, intrinsically linked through their annoying idiosyncrasies, rather than the binary opposites they would like to cast themselves as.

Let’s start by observing the following table. Here we see the common perception of the bogan and hipster relationship; they sit at opposite ends of society, a gulf lies between them.

In a moment I’m going to show you the same table, but from a different perspective, a perspective that essentially brings the bogan and the hipster together. Although binary opposites, the traditional bogan and hipster have somehow managed to cross paths through their collective extremism, to be united in their alienation from regular society. Here, let me explain. Unless the hipster is dealing with someone possessing a job title of a certain level of perceived coolness (fashion, art, design etc) the transaction will break down amongst a deluge of hipster sniggering and judgement. Conversely, a bogan will struggle to engage in meaningful interaction with anyone unless the other party has shown a willingness to drink a carton of beer in an afternoon or be passionate about wearing really dated clothes. The bogan will be serious about looking bad, whereas the hipster will be ironic about looking bad. Both look bad though, and both are mocked by the middle ground of society in equal measure. If the bogan speaks to someone who is not an alcoholic, or to someone who has read a book, they are a faggot. Bogans are one of the few species who link a mans desire to not be a bogan with his desire for penis. i.e. if he does unboganly things, he must be gay. Interestingly, the hipster will apply the same logic to non-hipsters, though in reverse. Example, a hipster will link a persons interest in sport with the conclusion they must be a bogan. The parallels: bogan sees inability to drink carton of beer in 3 hours: gay and or hipster. Hipster sees interest in sport as boganly and or overtly hetro/masculine. There is no middle ground for the hipster or the bogan. Everything is extreme, stereotyped, judged. So while binary opposites and direct enemies, they are actually united by their ignorance.

Back to the table, which, like everything, is best viewed from multiple angles to get closer to its truth. In its form above, we are unable to grasp the table in its entirety. This is similar to viewing a flat map of the world, which gives the impression that Russia and Alaska are oceans apart, but if we step into the third dimension, we see they are merely separated by a small section of the Pacific Ocean. So, when we step into the 3rd dimension of this graph and attempt to grasp that which is unable to grasped, we see step into another dimension of truth and discover the bogan and the hipster are actually linked:

See how they are at opposite ends, but by continued isolation from regular society, the table eventually bends back around itself, and the bogan and hipster meet. Kinda like Communism and Fascism, opposites, though so extreme they are actually 2 heads of the same dragon. So alone the hipster and bogan lurch on the edges of society, unaware of how the real world views them, and unaware that they are just around the bend from each other. Who’s to say the real world is real? Maybe I’ll cover that in my next lecture.

It all gets deeper when I realise that my categorisation and judgement of the hipster and bogan, in fact makes me guilty of the very thing I am mocking the hipster and bogan for.