New Segment

I’m launching a new segment that looks at the best and worst of Facebook status updates in any one week. This will assist users in learning what they are getting right, and where they are going wrong.

The Best:
Amy Maiden: Oh, hi Thursday, its only you. No offence… But I was really hoping it was Friday.
Amy’s come a long way from the little girl who used to ride a dingo to school in the outback.

Adrian Guerin: Adrian’s flatmate and his gf are away for 2 weeks. What? The house can be clean? Overload, overload, pleasure overload. I love you Santa. And then some bad news…
Candid, witty and insightful, it cleverly directed users towards the blog. It also took advantage of the new Facebook function that allows users to block certain people from seeing the update. But now I’ve put it on the blog, they’ll see it anyway. Bugger.

Line Hammer Nygaard: er der noget bedre end stormvejr og bådtur? og så lige med pax fra helvede, i dag måtte pax gerne være en hund!
I was thinking the same thing.

Marie Schultz: Tomorrows forecast: 42 with a high chance of bubbles and feasting. Moderate levels of backyard cricket, turning to general laziness on the lawn in the evening.
This smacks of a status update written purely to make it onto The Best list. Still good though.

The Worst
Chloé Farkas: is making A GINGERBREAD HOUSE… with lots of lollies and a WHOLE FAMILY OF GINGERBREAD MEN!!
Chloe is always a strong performer on The Worst list, often littering friends’ news feeds with irrelevant and uninteresting updates on her every move. Here, she uses uppercase inappropriately.

Again, stop shouting Chloe, your voice is loud enough.

Chloé Farkas: Cant Sleep there is a MASSIVE moth in my room….
Why are you telling me this?

Adrian Guerin: has how many announcements? Two. Oh cool.
It’s lame to have conversations with yourself in a status update. It’s even more lame to say ‘oh cool’ in response to your own answer in a status update. Very poor form.

Matt Stuart: had his first gay experience last night, Europe has f*****d my mind!
If you’re a proper, burly and homophobic Aussie brute, it’s not cool to reveal experiences of this nature on Facebook, as you will more than likely be subjected to a chorus of ravenous barking from your brutish mates. Wait a minute, I think I wrote that for him when he left his profile unattended. Come on, I should be above that petulance now I’m approaching 25. Grow up (not likely)

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