Quotes of the Week

I’m not getting old, I was just getting fat.
Revelation after losing weight while sick recontoured the shape of my face to reveal it wasn’t changing with age, it was just changing with curry and chocolate.

This is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in.
Not me, mine is 6 years.
Really? With who?
My penis during my teens.

‘Squeeze in everyone, there is no dignity in a situation like this’.
Witty comment made by rush hour commuter attempting to board the notorious Northern Line.

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