The Sauna

Woman

This one time, in the sauna, a woman took her top off and got her breasts out. Seriously. She just lay down with it all on show. I thought, wtf?! This aint Scandinavia love, who do you think you are anyway? I wondered if she was giving me a private show or if that’s just what she did all the time. It got me thinking how woman can just do as they wish. I occasionally let certain woman do as they wish with me, or rather, to me, but if I were to be relaxing in the sauna in the company of a lady, and decided it was time to give Mr Johnson and his backroom staff some airplay, I think it would be just a tad different. Don’t you? The point is made.

Men

I feel sorry for the hot woman who have to use the sauna at the gym I attend, as some guys rape them with their eyes. I try to make an effort to not look too much at a hot bikini clad girl in the sauna, as it might be a tad inappropriate. I might glance to check her out when I know she’s not looking, otherwise it’s eyes straight ahead. Unless I think she’s checking me out, then I’ll check her out. We’ll check each other out, then we’ll both get awkward and fidgety and I’ll wonder if I should spark a conversation, until the heat gets unbearable and the moment passes. Then I think ‘Curse my inability to act at the crucial moment, curse it!!’ I can’t figure out if it’s inappropriateto chat a girl up when we are both half naked, dripping sweat with pulsating bodies after a workout, or if it’s more appropriate than ever.

Some guys see a hot girl enter the sauna, and literally just stare, gaze, gawk, gape, watch, eye rape etc etc. It’s similar to the look Steph gives me most days at work.. I want you. I want you now! Anyway, You can tell the girl is thinking ‘Ok, it’s been 5 minutes now, this guy has crossed the boundaries of appropriate social behaviour, I must leave’. I guess the guy has no shame, so he need not worry about shame. He also knows his chances of ever finding a wife have long gone, as have his chances of ever having free sex again. So this is the pinnacle for him. And fair enough.

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