Tour dates/Tour in jeopardy

The forthcoming Thailand tour is in jeopardy due to an untimely bout of sickness. Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Shiva… whichever one of you is most powerful or most right, I’ll worship you till I go to that better place, if you can just get me better tomorrow. I’ll become a born again Christian. I’ll take back my stance of believing in reality. I’ll stop having sex, and when I get the urge, I’ll just entrap a little boy. I’ll become homophobic. I swear (not to you of course), I’ll walk into work tomorrow and tell all the dirty gays they are evil. They are sick. All my sick gay friends form my past… I’ll disown them. My gay Uncle, I’ll tell him he is no longer related to me until he finds a way to suppress who he is. I’ll change my stance that, if I have kids, they will need to walk over my dead body before they go anywhere near a Christian School. I’m happy for them to be brainwashed for 12 years like I was, to be told at the age of 7, they must worship Jesus and constantly sing about him. For them to feel most suspicious about Brother Rory, Brother David and Brother, Oh Brother how I like little boys.

On second thoughts, fuck Thailand, I forfeit it. I’ll stay sick.

Sorry to the devout Christians I may have offended. Actually, no I’m not. You’ve offended me my whole life and have never once aplogised. Wear it.

Posted in Religion Post Comment

Post Comment