Last night was a posh hotel, tonight is back to reality – dorm life. I was greeted in the dorm by an extremely hairy man, scantly clad in nothing but a towel. I’m officially too old for this shit now. To make matters worse, the room stunk. Then, to my bemusement, I noticed a window, shut. W…T…F? I turned to my chubby, follicly blessed friend, and struck a confrontational tone, ‘Ah, excuse me, why is this thing closed? It stinks in here, open it… Now!’ ‘Me no spek englis’. ‘Me no speak Euro either, open the fucking window, tubby!’ I then started whipping him with his own towel, while he was naked, ‘Dance tubby, dance!’. I was promptly removed from the site. I’ll be in Bucharest a while, the court case is in November. Adrienne, make your way to Australia without me, my mum is expecting you. You’re now her oldest son, same name, what’s the diff?