‘Mum, I need to make an important journey to Iran’. Mum bursts into tears, ‘Oh dear, you’re going to die. I’ll pray to The Lord for your safety’. ‘Ah, I think the Governor in these lands is Allah, and his deputy Mohammad. I’m not sure how it works – if you say a prayer from Australia, does it automatically connect straight through to Jesus’ line, and his Dad God? Or, is it based on who you’re praying for? I.e, if you pray for me, and I’m in Iran, does it automatically connect through to Allah’s line, so he can look over me? Look, let’s play it safe, pray to Jesus, tee him up for the trip, then do a sneaky one to Allah. I can send you some basic phrases in Farsi and Arabic so he knows what you’re saying. That way, if I’m captured by the Mujahideen, I can say that my Mum prayed to Allah. They can check the records, and voila, free. I might get cheaper insurance too. Mum, are you there. Oh, she hung up.’

**For the record, the above is a false characterisation of Sue, she offered no resistance, and trusted my judgement.